I wrote the book WORKING WITH MEAN GIRLS  to ensure that women who need support can begin to identify some responses that they would be comfortable to undertake in order to cope with a range of bitches in the workplace. We all may not be able to ‘give it back’ or meet toe to toe, as some people may recommend. Many women who come for counselling need some strategies for coping that are consistent with who they are and how they function. Self-protection can take many forms, and one form is harm minimization.

While some of the 8 Types identified may share some behaviours with bully girls, others don’t. A particular difference is that mean girls may not have any power or control and may not engage in activity that may cause physical or mental harm.  Definitions and meaning are important when I speak with other women.

Semantics may be pivotal to this topic.  Let us consider bitches, bullies, and – to quote Elizabeth Markham, a thirtysomething e trainer and writer – battleaxes. Let’s hear more about Battleaxes from Elizabeth…

BITCH BULLY AND BATTLE AXE by Elizabeth Markham

She’s a battleaxe; a senior administrator who is often called the ‘door bitch’ behind her back because she controls access to the CEO. She’s a tough, uncompromising woman who keeps the person in charge of the company organised and prepared. And everyone hates her. They despise the power she has to get in their way, and they mock the pride she takes in her role, and the way she suns herself in the reflected power of her boss. Yet, those things that people can’t stand about the battle axe relate to her gender in only one way: there are no men in these roles.

Like so many situations in which women are labelled as bitches unbalanced gender ratios play their part. Look at the door bitch, standing outside pubs and clubs whose job it is to turn the inappropriate away. The perception that women in these jobs are harder on the punters than male bouncers has made door bitch the standard term for a female bouncer but are women in club security tougher than men?

Some women are bullies. Workplace bullying, in my opinion, is gender blind so there is no surprise that there are women who get off on exercising their power over others. Bullies revel in the put down, a raised voice, and deliberate undermining as tools to get what they want. The only difference in bullying between men and women is in the details, not the intent or the reasons.

So, our battle axe might be a bully but most often when I hear a woman called a battle axe it is because she is in a position of power…”

I have been impressed by Jenny Stephens, a general manager of over 200 people, mother, partner, feminist, and sociologist. Interviewing her has produced these gems:

“It is all about the people. Get the right people on the right bus, in their right seats. If they’re not right, get them off.”

Jenny aims to work in a way that gives her life meaning and intellectual enjoyment – work should be fun, since we spend so much time doing it.

Jenny sees her job as a manager as creating an environment where people want to jump out of bed and come to work. There must be a compelling nature about the work.

“I HATE intellectual waste! I would be devastated if someone leaves and we hadn’t tapped into their talents. I create opportunities for staff and assist them to understand their own potential to self-assist.”

A series of short dvds that show you how to deal with each of the work bitches identified in the book – published by PENGUIN February 2012

MING PRODUCTIONS – our dvd production company specialises in short films and training dvds with a quirky style.

In these, we use REAL bitches, i.e. our dogs, to demonstrate the behaviours and how to deal with them. Need help with identifying and dealing with workplace female nastiness? We help you to identify the bitches at work by different categories and which strategies work best with each type of bitch.

We use real dogs to illustrate this primal behaviour that a small number of females engage in that cause damage, distress, shock, and career derailment for decent women.

Are you bored from doing the same tasks and feel that your brain has dessicated?

Are you worried about the onset of a BIG O birthday – had you pro0mised yourself that by this date you would be ensconsed in  your TRUE VOCATION?

Relationship problem at work with your direct report or colleagues causing distress and a desire to flee?

JUST GOTTA GET OUT OF WHAT YOU ARE DOING BEFORE  YOU ATROPHY?

Many people have an unconscious pattern that defines how many months or years they stat in the same role? When you near your cut-off time, you may feel restless, or somehow sabotage your role in order to leave, or simply begin to search for something different? To understand your pattern, make a review of how long you have tended to stay in each job you have ever had.

Is there a typical 2.5 to 3 year theme,or a 7 to 10 theme, or no discernable theme -  you are all over the map???

By analysing your PATTERN you may come to realise WHY it feels time to go.

If there is no pattern, it might indicate that OTHER factors are behind the distress.

Best regards

Meredith